It’s the job of the Coroner’s office to make an official pronouncement of death

I’m filling in at the Coroner’s office while he’s away on vacation.  That is, the Internet Coroner’s office.  That’s where the virtual, online dead go.  I was told to just “tag ’em, bag ’em and put ’em the fridge till I get back”, but I thought I’d leave a few notes about this one particular cadaver that came in recently since  I’m sure most pathologists aren’t too well acquainted with the fractal art world and will appreciate some expert help regarding the cause of death.

He’s going to need some help with this one.  I can see the Coroner staring at the body and wondering, “Why would such a young blog with such a bright future and so many friends end up DOA?”

Well Doc, basically, blogging is all about writing stuff that people want to read.  The internet puts thousands of high quality newspapers, magazines, even movies and not to mention specialty websites and also online encyclopedias like the Wikipedia in easy reach of everyone with internet access.  You have to write about things that no one else can (or will) write about.  It’s that “niche” thing.  And for that you have to be a bit of a freak.  They didn’t have a single freak.

Normal people write about normal things and freaky people write about freaky things.  On the internet, most visitors are by default disinterested.  Like I said, they’ve got plenty of great places to go (and online games too).  Good blogging attracts and holds the interest of complete strangers who don’t know who you are (or don’t care) but they’re interested in what you have to say because it’s rare and special.  In fact, a good blog will appeal just as much to its enemies as it will to its friends.  Maybe even more.  Wedream(ed)incolor had way too many friends, a sure sign of early onset terminal conditions in a blog (more commonly referred to as “hyper-irrelevancy”).

Good blogging is fresh, insightful commentary on topics that are rarely discussed (or better yet –taboo).  It’s not a group thing and most people aren’t really interested in giving raw, honest commentary about things (and posting it on the internet for everyone to read and react to).  It’s the same as art criticism or any sort of criticism; you have really get excited about it because the social fallout wouldn’t be worth it otherwise.  How many people actually get excited about writing criticism and not just reading it?  Yeah.  They didn’t even have one of those over there.  It’s like kidneys; it’s good to have two, but you’ve gotta at least have one.

A blog made up of self-conscious backslappers trying to produce something worth reading was just bound to fail.  Of course, some of them never even posted anything once.  That’s a definite warning sign of blogging cardiac arrest.

I’ve been through all this before: blogging just isn’t for everyone.  Commentary (public and published) might attract a lot of readers, but it doesn’t attract a lot of writers.  Of course, I would have thought that Orbit Trap’s own experience would made that fairly plain, but I guess everyone has to experience these things for themselves.  Morgue’s are full of those.

“If you  build it… they will watch!”  Too much work by any single person on an internet site doesn’t inspire others to join in and help out, it inspires them to stay out of the way and not touch.  If you want to be a real masochist then try asking for donations as well.  Better still, accept the fact that good blogging requires a strong vision and intense focus and that’s not likely to be found in a group of people like it is in a single person.

What else should I mention to the Coroner?  Oh.  Some of the next of kin are likely to come around and insist on doing CPR  despite the obvious stiff and bluish condition of the cadaver.  “It’s the summer!” “It’s just getting started!”  “Everyone’s just busy with other things at the moment!”  “Orbit Trap poisoned it!”  It’s a traditional custom of mourning in the fractal art world: a last ditch attempt to resurrect a social project that lacked a society.  They like to think that they did everything they could, although they didn’t actually do anything at all when it was alive.

Maybe a forum would have been a better idea?